There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Randomize
