everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
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