He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
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