The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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