I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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