I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
