And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Randomize
