Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize