You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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