you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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