some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
MIDGETS
????
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
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