Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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