The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Randomize
