perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
