Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
