just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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