I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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