Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
They left me at home... I'm a liability
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
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