I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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