we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
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