Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
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