So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
