We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
