he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
