dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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