It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
