so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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