ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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