hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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