i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Randomize
