I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Randomize
