the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
