shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
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