I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
