butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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