i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
