we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
