The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
she peed on how many people?
it glows. i had to have it.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize
