People with herpes should wear stickers.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
