Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
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