He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
