you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Randomize
