I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
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