I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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