Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
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