Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Randomize
