Is it normal to miss your booty call?
But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Randomize
