Grow some girl-balls and come out already
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
