I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Randomize