:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
