Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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