i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
We have so much sex to catch up on
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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